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by Anastasia Dimitropoulou

”Are you coming over for Christmas?”, he asked in a husky voice that would prick a million invisible times her pulsating carotid, fondle her body internally and find its seductive way straight to her heart’s safe. They had been on a late night video – call for over an hour again. Goofing around and drinking red wine. Striving to swallow each other’s riddles, while making a synchronized free fall into love. ”Donno yet, Jake”, she responded, biting nervously her lower lip. ”Well I do though. All your silly scruples always smell like a freshly washed shirt I cannot take off, no matter what”, he grinded his teeth. ”Which means…?”, she desperately tried to save tears, time and words. Yet, she could clearly sense a pure combination of frustration, anxiety and anger upon his beautiful face.

”Why don’t you get it after all this time, Jamie? I need to meet you. I’m longing to kiss you like you’ve never been kissed before, to see your soul naked, to sleep with your curls laid on my bare chest and wake you up next morning with a faint, almost imperceptible blow to your beautiful eyelids. To hold your hand into the most famous museums of the world, to whisper my favorite poems in your ear during sunsets, and keep you warm in twilight”, he added.

”But apparently, you’re not so into that, dear, and I’m afraid I gotta live with it”, he narrowed his eyes in suspicion. ”You wrong and that’s what pisses me off. You absolutely wrong”, she yelled at him. Her hands were shaking, her brain was on fire. ”I just don’t want to get hurt again. Call me a misfit or something, but I don’t want to rush it. I really don’t wanna get trapped into futile hopes, unattainable dreams and  emotions that fade away like henna tattoos”, Jamie said and ended the video – call.

                                                       They’d been chatting for about seven months now. It all started with a friend request, a couple of common friends and the very first ”mornings” texts before going to work. They kept sending funny pics to each other and pics of themselves. The game totally begun when calls took place. In other words they both seemed to be following a recipe of making a long distance relationship work. And it actually did. Till Jake spotted the big problem. And made Jamie burst into tears. He could not catch a plane on this Christmas to her hometown, though he meant it so, cause of his father’s Alzheimer, and asked Jamie do it for him. But Jamie was not ready, she had never thought of herself taking a plane just because of an online love story. She did like him a lot, she’d melt listening to his voice on the phone or watching him on camera playing with his hair but she had been emotionally damaged for so long. She could not trust people. She’d barely trust herself. Why couldn’t Jake deal with it? Why couldn’t he see a girl’s fears and treat them properly? Texts and video calls between the love birds rapidly started to space a week before Christmas. He wouldn’t call, she wouldn’t always text back for goodnight. Jake would walk alone with his cell in silent mode into his pocket, and Jamie would frown in front of her cell’s dead screen.

                                                                            All this awkward silence had been extremely annoying but when you are out of solutions, all you need is a strong decision. Jamie and Jake made theirs right on Christmas Eve. She said nowt to him about her plan. He seemed so indifferent to anything she would mention anyway, but he also had a smart plan for himself, which he put in application, just because he didn’t want to lose that woman. When she landed at his hometown, she had to take a little time to think. What would she do? She didn’t leave the airport, she just took her steps to its bookstore. He loved Charles Baudelaire. He would occasionally text her poems from ”The flowers of evil”, and she would respond with Emily Dickinson’s ones.

                                                                It was Christmas already, and she tried to call him while standing in the queue at the bookstore. She suddenly felt anxious, completely lost. What would she say on the phone? Would he still want to meet her? An Iphone kept ringing right behind her. ”Oh, c’mon, Jake. Pick it up!”, she moaned. ”Jamie?”, he finally answered. His voice was trembling. And Jamie would also swear she could hear it next to her. All she did was to look behind.

                                                              And she saw him. He was tall with playful eyes and lovely hair. His clothes were great matched and he was smiling. And also carrying a suitcase and an E. Dickinson book. ”What are you doing here?”, he asked her. ”Merry Christmas, babe” she kissed him with no second thoughts. ”Had to been kissed like I’ve never been before. Had to love you in person, Jake and I hope you don’t mind”, she smiled at him. ”Guess what, I was about to do the same thing for you. I was about to leave it all and run to you. I’d spend Christmas and a lifetime with you, I would do anything just to love you more than a mother loves her child. I’d do anything just to prove you that you’re the source of my joy and the center of my heart, Jamie. I’d give anything just for a ride with you through trust. Merry Christmas, sweet heart.”

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